Michael Phelps Scorecard

7:00 am - Wake Up - Last test to ensure we are ovulating (Yep - the line IS darker)
7:14 am - Full body shave
8:45 am - Leave for the hospital
9:17 am - Run through hospital...Could we have parked any father away? Seems as though we always have to find the cheapest parking.
9:34 am - W here for IUI...Fill out form, put on wristband, and how would you like to pay? $250
9:38 am - H rummages through a plethora of sticky pages of magazines to produce his sample.
9:50 am - Sperm needs to incubate, needs to be washed, and then spun to get the fastest swimmers. Ok....You Michael Phelps of the sperm world..we need you!
9:51 am - Go for coffee and a bite to eat
10:30 am - Wait and wait and wait
10:45 am - W and H called
10:47 am - 14.7 million swimmers, at a rate of 55% motility, so that means 9 millions are the winners. Pretty good chances. Great sperm count, we usually look for 5 million as a good number. Not the best number, but great. Here hold onto this.
11:12 am - W come this way.
11:15 am - Cycle Day what? 14 Are you on a pre-natal vitamin? Materna Are you on any fertility drugs? Nope, it's a natural try this time. When did you see your surge? Saturday and this morning. How long are your periods? Well that depends. Are we including clomid that totally fucked me up? Anywhere from 26-34 days
11:18 am - The Dr will be in shortly to preform your IUI.
11:18 am - Stare at my naked body in the mirror. Damn I'm hot! :-) Realize I need to loose some weight. Stare at my tattoo, try to get comfortable.
11:25 am - Knock Knock. Don't be nervous. All I could think of was this better feel A LOT better than that damn HSG.
11:27 am - Speculum in "W, relax, put your hands on your chest...imagine the blue sky, the sun shinning, you have some nice clear mucus" WTF? Catheter in, sperm injected, mild cramp.
11:28 am - That's it? That's all? And I'm not laying in the wet spot... NICE!
11:40 am - Finished laying there for 10 minutes...Got dressed...Went home

That was easy. The rest is up to science.