Turns out our appt wasn't at 8:30 am, it was at 9:30 am, and we didn't get in until 10:30 am.
Fast Fwd to after my rendezvous with a cold piece of metal machinery.
Had my first breakdown. Gathered myself and found H waiting in the waiting room. And broke down again. I told him that the Dr first asked why we came all the way down to the clinic to get the u/s; told him I have a cyst due to the clomid; told him the Dr is cancelling this IUI cycle until the cyst goes away; told him the Dr suggested just waiting until we get called back for IVF (Feb/Mar) because the travel, and IUI has only a 13% chance, is it worth it?
I'm sorry you cold heartless bitch. How can you say wait until IVF call backs when we clearly haven't even tried ANYTHING yet. And why did we come to the clinic here? Ummm...because your nurses told me to! And f$%^ clomid. I'm taking a break!
Fast Fwd to Check Out and after lunch.
The ride home was a long and quiet one. I wasn't in the mood for talking. On the way home a had a few minor breakdowns, but nothing I couldn't deal with.
We got home, unpacked, and had yet another breakdown. 100 things running through my mind:
Why us? We are good people...
If there really was a God...
Life is so unfair...
Today has made me a stronger person.
Today I'm closer to H more than I've ever been.
All our love and stay strong,
Tucan
xoxo
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