How rude...Stop being so ignorant!

They say that chances are you might know someone going through infertility, or you might know someone who knows someone....8-15% of couple in Canada are infertile. Infertility is a very long and painful journey to go through and people can be very hurtful without even knowing it. So we thought we'd lay some ground rules for all of you that don't know what to say to someone that has infertility or is trying to conceive(TTC):

1. Don't belittle their issue - Just because they can't have kids doesn't give you the right to say "Think of how much money you can save" or "How can you be busy, you don't have kids".
2. Don't play the God card - "God didn't mean for you to be parents" or "Maybe God isn't ready for you to be pregnant yet". This has nothing to do with God. It's a medical problem. End of story!
3. Don't tell the whole world. Treatments and tests are a very private and embarrassing matter.
4. Give support not opinions - Don't offer suggestions right away, like adoption, IVF, Foster care. Chances are...the couple has already discussed these options.
5. Don't tell them there are people worse off, or there are worse things - Like what? Having a loved one die? Having your house burn down? Losing your job?
6. Don't treat us like we don't know anything about being parents - That doesn't mean that an infertile couple doesn't know what parenting is all about. Obviously when you become a parent you are more likely to realize the responsibilities that come with parenting. If anything the infertile have more time to "prepare" themselves for parenting (whether that be reading books, watching family and friends raise their children).
7. Don't play Doctor. Most couples would have gone through all the tests to explain their outcome of infertility. Don't assume that you know better.
8. And finally...Don't tell them to relax! You have no idea what they are going through.

There are plenty of other things you can avoid saying, and plenty of other things you could do...But these 8 will suffice.

Infertility is not only physically uncomfortable, it's emotional draining, and monetarily taxing.

• Couples bodies are explored in any and every way possible while figuring out the diagnosis.
• Most couples at some point will seek professional help (psychologists, psychiatrists, etc)
• Heath Care in Canada doesn't support infertility treatments for a number of different reasons. It can be anywhere from a couple hundred to 5 figures +.

Hope this helps you out if you ever encounter a friend or family member who has gathered the courage to tell you their issues. Be kind.....Be supportive.

All our Love,

Tucan
xoxo